Questions and Contact a Christian Pastor

Here are some common questions among hundreds and thousands more like them:

1. Looking for a pastor to officiate a wedding?

2. Have questions about relationships, dating, or marriage?

3. What are you to look for in a person before marrying them?

4. Are we allowed to date and marry someone from a different spiritual state (e.g. Can I marry a non-Christian)?

5. Having relationship, even marriage issues?

6. What to do if you are pregnant before the wedding?

7. What to do with your finances like debts, income, expenses, lifestyle, etc.?

8. How to parent and prepare kids and young adults to marry?

9. How to plan for a wedding and marriage?

10. Where can I have a wedding ceremony (location, church building, outside, etc.)?

You can read any of the below as well as contact us anytime!

Weddings and Marriage

Christian pastors officiate weddings, which is the ceremony of witnesses confirming the initial moment and covenantal relationship of a marriage between man and woman. The wedding and continuing marriage is a man and woman coming together under God as “one flesh.” God created this natural path and pattern for man/humankind:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24-25)

Adam and Eve were married in their natural, righteous state before God. They were unashamed or not embarrassed because they were in relationship to God and they knew it because God declared that to them.

God’s plan for two coming together in marriage generally looks like parental guidance, dating, proposal, wedding, and marriage. There are certainly issues that might and most likely will arise throughout any part of these life circumstances. Often things do not go perfectly and adjustments and even difficult decisions must be made. The most important is learning the truth and love of this life that binds one another together. We ultimately see that in God, therefore as we are people inspired by truth and love, we then relate and marry accordingly.

The World’s First Marriage

The Bible’s first and Old Testament book of Genesis records God’s creation of the universe and world, revealing his intentions, purposes, and declarations (c.f. Genesis 1-2). God declared Adam, Eve, marriage, and childbearing is good!

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.””

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.” (Genesis 1:27-28; 31)

The World’s First Marital Issue

Genesis 3:1-19 records why and how mankind, especially the first married couple, sinned against God and one another producing generational chaos and condemnation. Adam became distant and allowed his wife Eve to be tempted and twisted by Satan. Eve likewise did not follow God’s word and listened to Satan’s temptations. Both failed but God loved them with hard but savings words of promise.

God promised one would come to ultimately take upon their sin and condemnation as well as the world’s. Henceforth, the gospel of Jesus the Christ promised from Genesis 3:15 continues as the core for any wedding and marriage. God is always to be central, and the gospel of Jesus reveals that.

The World’s Sexual Immorality

God created and commanded the natural order of a man and woman as candidates for marriage. Anything else is twisting God and his word as Satan did in the garden in Genesis 3. God calls this breakdown and sinful twist “sexual immorality” or “sin” like the following: Lust of the heart for another, polygamy, pornography (even in the educational arts), homosexuality (gay; lesbian), pedopholia, abuse, rape, beastiality, orgies (sexual party of multiple people often accompanied by drugs and drunkenness), adultery (sexual relationship with another that is not the spouse), fornication (sexual interaction before marriage), cult (or occult) celebrations, arranged marriages, enslavements, gender change, and anything that breaks the simple union and natural state of a man and woman.

The World’s First Sinful Couple Marries

Christian pastors, therefore, officiates two types of couples desiring to come together since they share the same spiritual state of one another as well as adheres to God:

1. non-Christian couple (both man and woman are not Christian)

2. Christian couple (both man and woman are Christian)

Throughout the Bible, God affirms that the natural state also has a spiritual state. Since marriage is a created, commanded, and natural gift of God, anyone on the earth (even if they do not trust God) may marry. But, there’s no circumstance where God allows for an unbeliever to marry a believer. It’s either or. The Bible’s New Testament records counsel to those that were married as unbelievers (non-Christians) and when a spouse becomes a Christian (c.f. 1 Corinthians 6-7).

Pre-marital Counsel

The above, among much more, is what any Christian pastor and parent counsels people prior to any wedding and marriage. Often people are rushing into marriage, became pregnant and think getting married solves things, and many other issues and myths. Christian pastors and parents are vital to the guidance and health of the next generation marrying and staying married “until death do us part.”

Christian pastors often create a schedule of focused pre-marital counseling meetings to ensure everyone is on the same page and prepared well for the wedding and long-term marriage. The meetings can range from 1, 3, or 10 depending on the need, ages, maturity, and so on of the couple. Sometimes young people can be maturer than older age people, though it’s suppose to be the reverse of that. Generally the age range of people begins 18 and up. Historically and still today, parents can agree and sign legal documentation for situations dealing with under 18.

A humble, teachable couple soaks up any type of health, good, and Godly counsel. They take it in and hold fast to it for the longevity of their marriage. They will see marriage not as a contract but covenant to God first, one another second, and among others third (wedding ceremony and later on to their kids, friends, neighbors, church community, etc.).

The couple also sees and uses their marriage as a stewardship gifted to them by God, becoming a hospitable and loving couple versus selfish, hoarding, hiding, or wasteful marriage.

Wedding Ceremony Vows

There are three types of vows used during a wedding ceremony:

1. Personally created vows by each spouse

2. Traditional vows

3. Pastorally tailored vows

The Christian pastor guides the couple through the decision-making promise to ensure the best outcome among witnesses. The specific part of the wedding a Christian pastor officiates can range from 15-60 minutes dependent on additional elements like songs, performances, communion or union symbolizations (e.g. lighting candles, mixing sand), and so on. Other parts of weddings like the before and after from rehearsal dinner to cutting of the cake are normally handled by the families, spouses, or a wedding coordinator of some kind.

Traditional ceremony outline example:

1. Seating of family, friends, and other guests

2. Officiant, groom, and groomsmen entry

3. Bridal party entrance

4. Bride procession with father (“here comes the bride”; “to give away”; Father and bride)

5. Pastoral prayer

6. Pastoral welcome and introduction

7. Pastoral sermon teaching about God, the gospel, life, and marriage

8. Prayer

9. Song

10. Vows (covenant and commitment)

11. Song

12. Rings (symbol of continuous love)

13. Unity moment (e.g. candle, sand, communion, etc.)

14. First Kiss as married couple

15. Pronouncement of newly married couple

16. Sign marriage license (as soon as possible after the ceremony and ensure someone mails immediately next day)

Telos Church(es) has customized and tailored the traditional vows which adds an element prior to the traditional vows. The newly added section is focused on teaching about the spouses vow to God individually and then leads into the vows between each other. Telos Church(es) works to ensure a God honoring, gospel-centered, humble, loving, and relationally enjoyable time for all.

A Christian pastor works with the couple through any of the pre-marital counseling sessions to work through the wedding ceremony and the vows. This helps the couple to be prepared and enjoy the time coming together as a newly married couple.

Weddings are a great opportunity for kids to be included in the crowd as well as the ceremony. These are teachable moments and building blocks for the next generation.

Marriage License

In America and normally in each state, spouses obtain a wedding license that begins the legal portion right after the wedding ceremony that is signed by the officiant (i.e. Christian pastor), the newly married couple, and two witnesses (e.g. groomsman and bridesmaid). The legal matter is for joining of the last name and giving long term foundational documentation of the ceremony and date for when things became legal and active. This allows for driver’s license name change, bank account changes, renting or purchasing a house, and so on.

Often the license is accessible at a county courthouse or office where the wedding takes place. Make sure to have the license well in advance of the ceremony and all addresses and postage set for one of the spouses or an assigned (trusted, responsible) person to drop in the mail the day or day after the wedding.